The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
~ George Bernard Shaw
Most of you who know me well, know me as a predominantly logical person. A skeptic, an atheist, a logician. I am a massive believer (and yes I see the irony) in the scientific process. Alternative medicine, most aspects of ‘alternative spirituality’ and all religion (henceforth known as “woo”) are wasted on me.
I am however not a militant. I accept that people feel inclined to believe certain things, centuries of religion have shown us that, but I don’t go around arguing with people because I think they’re stupid and uninformed - I tend to only do that when people try and make me ‘mend my ways’.
But I do live an alternative sociosexual lifestyle. I consider myself to be polyamorous and kinky (whatever that means), and here we get to the nub of the matter:
A lot of literature about kink and poly lifestyle has a very high woo content, and my problem with that is that a lot of people think that all the woo is necessary. It isn’t. I can experience extasy without using Tantra techniques, I can maintain relationships without being in touch with my inner Wombat, or whatever.
It’s never about spirits, souls, chakras, energy, crystals, leylines or anything.
Everything you do, is to do with people. You interact with people. You are people. You move, talk, communicate and act like people. I’d much rather work on my communication skills than have someone realign my so-and-so.
Please don’t let woo get in the way of you developing as a social creature. You might spend too much time trying to find something to make you feel better, without realising that it’s you who helps yourself, not any spirit or crystal.
~Gryphon
What is your definition of sex? Must it involve penetration to be considered sex?
What is your definition of sex? Must it involve penetration to be considered sex?
There are a few people on here and twitter that I know in ‘real life’ but others that I’ve only just starting to get to know. I’m definitely not averse to meeting internet friends in person. I’ve got some good friends from doing just that.
Not that I know of. In fact maybe I’ll think more about the things that are keeping me alive.
Ask me anything http://formspring.me/itcia
Liquorice 3 pack butt plug set, bought for something around £12.
Umm how to I put this…waste of fucking money doesn’t really quite cut it. Now I know they’re cheep but I figured as I hadn’t yet tried a butt plug I’d buy something cheep; then I came across the set of three and thought: ‘Perfect, this means I can see what size is going to suit me and see if I actually like it or not’.
Well I’ve established butt plugs to be a thing I definitely like but these buggers don’t stay in! They’re just the wrong shape, especially as the base is just too big and would get in the way if I wanted to have vaginal penetrative sex at the same time as wearing them. They’re also meant to have a suction base so that you can stick them to surfaces. I tried, it failed.
Far from bringing me joy they’ve just made me sort of grumpy and means that I’m going to have to go and spend more money on a butt plug I actually like.
So much for a Christmas present to myself.
Time for a sex toy review. I’ve been meaning to do some of these but only just remembered after spending some birthday money on a few presents to myself. Seeing as I only just ordered them and they won’t be arriving for a few days, I’ll have to review for you something that’s already in my inventory. So, here is my most expensive purchases in the name of an orgasm and in fact the first toy I ever bought.
The lelo liv vibrator.
It seems somewhat like an old friend these days, trusted, reliable, but not always the most exciting thing in the world. It’s never failed in its duty of keeping me company on cold lonely nights. However, being rechargeable I have on a number of occasions forgotten to charge it and as a result had the damn thing run out on me too early. It’s got a great range of vibration speeds and patterns easily changed without too much fiddling about with buttons and dials etc. It’s nicely shaped and can easily be used in anal play as well as it’s by no means particularly large. On that point it’s not the sort of vibrator you pick for it’s ability to make you feel full, the charm really is all in its varying speeds and patterns. It’s also generally aesthetically pleasing (though I wasn’t impressed to find I’d accidentally bought the pink one). This is very important to me, just as with people, I have to find toys attractive before I stick them in me. So in short, a lovely effective toy but nothing to rave about.
Okay I just have to state for the record that the review of randomly selected fetishes are not meant to be just a list of things that make me go: “Ooo yes please”. But it seems that the second one on our list has definitely elicited that reaction…again. I’m waiting to see how long it takes until one comes up and I pass it onto Gryphon to review because I can’t bring myself to do so.
So yes, for those of you that are still wondering what forniphilia is all about, in essence it is the turning people into furniture. I suppose the most common version of this is the foot stool. (Mmmm drifting off into images of an exposed arse propping up my feet while I swish around a riding crop menacingly…or even having my stamina tested as I stand as a candle stick holder something akin to Lumiere in Beauty and the Beast…).
Sorry, yes, back to paying attention to what I’m doing…I could have stayed with that one for a while.
As clearly demonstrated in the image above, it doesn’t have to be something so simple as a lovely sub kneeling on all fours to create a table; I’ve seen some wonderfully imaginative things that one can do in the name of forniphilia and experimentation should always be encouraged. What I’m wondering of course is does this take particular physical strength on the part of the sub, having to hold still in unusual poses for a long period of time? Though yet again, I suppose that’s all part of the fun.
I am very passionate about oral sex, both giving and receiving for men and women. I especially love giving head and watching and listening to my partner enjoy what I’m doing. However, what I’m here to write about isn’t just how much I love giving head, though I REALLY REALLY do. When watching porn I get seriously confused (and slightly annoyed) by the things that people seem to do when pretending to eat pussy. Now, having identified as a lesbian for quite a few years and having a number of male friends, I often get asked advice about techniques. I wouldn’t be so insulting to suggest that I know it all and this will work for everyone woman. But here are a few pointers for those who would like them:
1) Your tongue is an amazing thing and it can make all sorts of shapes with it, so use them. Use the tip of your tongue to create concentrated pressure, the flat surface of your tongue to explore ALL of her pussy or to have her rub her self against it.
2) Use your lips to suck her clit between them. Do this gently and only once her clit has swollen from your already brilliant attention! If you’ve already explored her pussy properly her clit will be very sensitive and this will feel amazingly intimate and cosy in a VERY sexy way.
3) Pressure: Every woman likes different levels of pressure and will enjoy a variety from day to day, minute to minute, second to second… you get the idea. Pressure from the lightest of whispers to really pulling her pussy right on to your face all have very different sensations, so be sure to really listen to your partner to hear what’s working at that particular moment.
4) And most of all, enjoy what you’re doing, because it’s absolutely one of the best things in the world.
PS. I would LOVE to hear some tips from you.
-Itcia